Tuesday, 19 August 2014

Emotional Intelligence "self-control"


                            Emotions that we don't know how to handle effectively lie at the core of so many difficulties in the life of the individual. They play a profound role in how we feel about ourselves, and can even affect our physical health. Expressing our emotions can often hurt others, but by repressing them -- even in the benevolent guise of "self-control" -- we risk hurting ourselves.
                            SdGuru offers a third alternative, which is to understand the roots of our emotions and to develop the knack of watching them and learning from them. Overwhelms  may be love may be hate  may be anger , if it is too much and it gives you sense of overwhelming , even pain and suffering may be create in love , but over whelming  proves you are typically emotional being , its a indication of emotional personality , when its anger all anger when its love its all love . its like drunken deep in emotions , and  in this stage  whatever decision may come out it may  not going to be right . Whenever you feel Overwhelm  and force  of emotions Reduce to its base , otherwise you will lose wisdom including all sensitivity , you not only lose although get involves in those acts where your heart is not inclined , whatever you will do in this stage all going wrong  with over-flowing emotions , generally emotions are very fragile ... very changeable and over whelming is very unstable , in one moment everything it all  and in another moment you feel total  empty , though true Love is very settled...   Original Love is not changeable , and love is not  your part of emotion  and not overwhelming also true love is not overwhelming " its calm - settle -insightful - wise " true  love have insight , love is sensitivity love is awareness , but this kind of love is rare  and not adjust  with strange world !  it is advisable to take our your love from  emotional grip . unless love become your part of being it doesn't much difference ,

                            One have to come out with emotional grip , which is already found  by the birth  and you have find of root of your being , unless become  love  your part pf being  not much difference  sadness sufferings  of emotions .  emotion not much help to become integrated human , you will remain just deadwood in flowing river . emotion  and  blind man exactly although . emotions cant give you a granite soul . this kind of  emotional flow and drinking in alcohol is equal , not different .


On other Psychological hand :

Mininni said. She defines emotions as a “full-body experience,” an interplay between our thoughts and physical sensations.it means Emotions = Thoughts + Body Sensations 

Emotion ; why we Bother about ! 

Emotions control  thinking, behavior and actions.  Emotions affect physical bodies as much as  body affects feelings and thinking.  People who ignore, dismiss, repress or just ventilate their emotions, are setting themselves up for physical illness.  Emotions that are not felt and released but buried within the body or in the aura can cause serious illness, including cancer, arthritis, and many types of chronic illnesses.  Negative emotions such as fear, anxiety, negativity, frustration and depression cause chemical reactions in your body that are very different from the chemicals released when you feel positive emotions such as happy, content, loved, accepted. 


Comes down to three steps through Meditation :
  1. Developing emotional intelligence.
  2. Learning to sit with negative feelings.
  3. Creating situations for positive feelings.

If you have a high EIQ, you likely regulate your emotions well; handle uncertainties and difficulties without excessive panic, stress, and fear; and avoid overreacting to situations before knowing the full details. if you don't have  no problem  it can generate  through meditation . 

1- Some Steps to Improve Your Emotional Intelligence:

1. Understand what emotional intelligence looks like.

 Psychologist Daniel Goleman identified five elements to EI - self-awareness, self-regulation, motivation, empathy, and social skills. This means you understand what’s going on in your head and heart; you don’t make hasty decisions on impulse; you can motivate yourself to delay gratification; you listen to, understand, and relate to other people well; and you’re able to focus on other people.


You can read more about these ideas in Goleman’s book Emotional Intelligence: Why It Can Matter More than IQ.

2. Use meditation to regulate emotions.

It’s infinitely easier to deal with emotions as they arise if you’ve already done a little work to create a calm inner space. If you’re new to meditation, you may want to try one of these simple ways to make meditation easy and fun.

3. Take an honest look at your reactions.

Do you frequently jump to conclusions without knowing all the facts? Do you need other people’s approval to feel comfortable in your own skin? Do you assume you know what other people feel and take responsibility for that? Do you freak out over stressful situations, blaming other people, getting hard on yourself, and panicking over possible consequences?

4. Practice observing your feelings and taking responsibility for them.

It’s not always easy to understand a feeling when it happens, especially if you think you shouldn't feel it; but forget about should. Instead, try to pinpoint exactly what you feel—scared, frustrated, worried, ashamed, agitated, angry—and then pinpoint what might be the cause. Reserve all judgment.
Once you know what you feel, you can now challenge both the cause and the effect.


2- Learn to Sit with Negative Feelings

Even if you re frame a situation to see things differently, there will be times when you still feel something that seems negative. While not every situation requires panic, sometimes our feelings are appropriate for the events going on in our lives.
We are allowed to feel whatever we need to feel. If we lose someone, we’re allowed to hurt. If we hurt someone, we’re allowed to feel guilty. If we make a mistake, we’re allowed to feel regretful. Positive thinking can be a powerful tool for happiness, but it’s more detrimental than helpful if we use it to avoid dealing with life.
Pain is part of life, and we can’t avoid it by resisting it. We can only minimize it by accepting it and dealing with it well.
That means feeling the pain and knowing it will pass. No feeling lasts forever. It means sitting in the discomfort and waiting before acting. There will come a time when you feel healed and empowered.


3- Create Situations for Positive Feelings

This is the last part of the puzzle. As I mentioned before, we tend to be more reactive than active, but that’s a decision to let the outside world dictate how we feel.
We don’t need to sit around waiting for other people to evoke our feelings. Instead, we can take responsibility to create our own inner world.
at the end : 
Negative feelings are only negative if they’re excessive and enduring. We won’t hurt ourselves into eternal misery if we let ourselves feel what we need to.Still, we don’t have to feel bad nearly as often as we think.
If we choose to foster a sense of inner peace, challenge our perceptions and interpretations when our emotions could use some schooling, and learn to take responsibility for our joy, we can not only minimize pain—we can choose to be a source of pleasure, for ourselves and the people around us.

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